IrContent

I’ve been studying the Fundamental Church of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) cult for a while now and will soon have an article on them on SoulDevice. But I have already thought of several reasons why people would want to join (well, men at least). So here are my top ten reasons to become FLDS…

10. You won’t burn in flames when God rids the earth of all those pagan monogamists!9. You get to have as many wives as you want but only have to support the first one (the rest, being illegal, are considered “single mothers” by the state and are eligible for welfare, food stamps, and medicaid)!8. You get to keep a fresh supply of young girls to marry no matter how old you are and they can produce a whole lot of children since you can get started with them when they are as young as thirteen!7. You don’t have to worry about beeing good looking or nice because God just tells the Prophet who the girls are to marry!

6. You can be very creative with your family tree since marrying your wives’ daughters is OK so long as they aren’t yours!

5. If you REALLY like your own daughters you still can’t marry them - but you can probably get away with a little fooling around. Who will remember whose kids they are anyway?

4. Same with sons!

3. If you beat up your disobedient child or wife they can’t tell anyone because they will go to Hell! Even if they risk Hell to escape you, the police chief and the mayor are FLDS too! And even if your family manages to escape the commune you can always run to another one - they have convenient locations such as Bountiful, Canada and Colorado City, UT!

2. You get to be a god after you die and have sex with whichever wives you choose to wake up forever on a planet of your own!

And the number one reason to become FLDS (as if any one of these were not reason enough!) . . .

1. You might get your name in a Jon Krakaeur book!

I hope this has been as disturbing to you as it has been to me. This cult is sick - every detail of the above, and more, is going on right now . . . today.