IrContent

My name is D to the I to C to the K,

Yeah I’m the Dickie D, I gots my PhD
and comin’ your way on the Youtube to bust your world view
so just listen to me and don’t you argue.

You see, this battle’s been ragin’ since Zeus was on the bottle,
‘tween Science like Democritus and Faith like Aristotle,
who said the mover was unmovin’ like some magic trick but
that’s no good logic, my posse is far too quick for this religious sthick.

Cos science is the only way to know y’all,
you stand with me y’all,
or you can fall y’all
So go ahead and take your pick

Yeah you tell him Rick
Cos if you don’t know me
You don’t know Dick!

CHORUS:
Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s smarter than you - he’s got a science degree!

On the shoulders of midgets we built up this machine,
YEAH!!!

Science silenced that watchdog wingnut Paley
growing stronger and harder almost daily,
storming Wilber by force as we framed the discourse
that faith and science are split in schismatic divorce.

Then Darwin took to the seas to see what no one had seen,
and ever since then we’ve been increasingly keen,
they may never adore us, but they’ll no longer ignore us,
give it to ‘em PZ hit these **** with the chorus!!!

Chorus
. . . he’s still smarter than you he studied biology!

Then there was Darrow
dukin’ it out with the straight and the narrow,
a ragin’ bull in the ring, he did his thing,
and took it on the chin like he was Bobby De Niro.

We might have lost at Scopes,
beaten down by the dopes, and the stooges of popes,
but in losin’ we coped, becomin’ more than we hoped,
creationists slipped on the soap of their own slippery slope.

What was impossible, improbable, is now wholly unstoppable untoppleable,
the Dick Doc’ll roll up as you creationists foldup
you haters talkin’ bull,
don’t you know that this Dick is un-****-frickin’ blockable???

Chorus

Now the machine of our making, sees culture ripe for the taking,
Cos I’m the rappinest, rabidest atheist who unlike the Catholic, Muslim or even the Jew,
believes that no God but science could ever be true,
hell if I was dyslexic I’d even hate “dog” too.

Time to open your eyes, get yourself wise,
the age of science will rise to be religion’s demise,
and while you churchies all cry, shouting ‘why God oh why,’
I’ll still be poppin’ my collar earning more dollars than Allah.

Hollah!

Chorus

OK, so this is a super-nerdy thing to do, but I can’t help it - I love these things. I only played D&D once and spent most of my time irritating the DM with my insistence that I be given a “Blasting Guitar of Power” that, when played skillfully, would destroy my enemies. Anyway, here’s my results from Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus :

I Am A: Lawful Neutral Human Cleric (5th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength-12
Dexterity-13
Constitution-11
Intelligence-15
Wisdom-12
Charisma-14

Alignment:
Lawful Neutral A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs him. Order and organization are paramount to him. He may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or he may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government. Lawful neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you are reliable and honorable without being a zealot. However, lawful neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it seeks to eliminate all freedom, choice, and diversity in society.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Clerics act as intermediaries between the earthly and the divine (or infernal) worlds. A good cleric helps those in need, while an evil cleric seeks to spread his patron’s vision of evil across the world. All clerics can heal wounds and bring people back from the brink of death, and powerful clerics can even raise the dead. Likewise, all clerics have authority over undead creatures, and they can turn away or even destroy these creatures. Clerics are trained in the use of simple weapons, and can use all forms of armor and shields without penalty, since armor does not interfere with the casting of divine spells. In addition to his normal complement of spells, every cleric chooses to focus on two of his deity’s domains. These domains grants the cleric special powers, and give him access to spells that he might otherwise never learn. A cleric’s Wisdom score should be high, since this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

OK, I hardly ever just point to other people’s stuff here, but this is too great to miss: www.tektonics.org/extremeapologetics.html

I can’t help it - I love these things.

In honor of Weird Al’s new release “White and Nerdy” (see my MySpace videos!) I have taken and posted this nerd test.

I thought I’d start this month off right with some deep inner searching
. . . a quest, if you will, for the true Doug. Naturally, I began with internet quizzes. I took several from QuizFarm.com just to be safe . . .

Fortunately, I found that I was, indeed, a Christian! (Although not 100% apparently.)

And it seems that I am more Atheist than Arminian! (I think that the creator of this quiz just might have some issues with Calvinism though . . .)

Theologically I am Anselm. Barth was a close second though. What could that possibly mean???

Philosophically I am . . . now just a dang minute . . . Neitzsche??? Are you kidding? (And how can there only be a 10 point spread between Neitzsche and Aquinas???)

Or maybe not Neitzsche. Something just ain’t right at the Quiz Farm.

Ah, this is more like it!

As you can see, these quizzes turned out to be less than reliable. Well, so much for inner reflection based on online Q&A. It seems I must look elsewhere to find myself.